Why the perfect blonde is the Holy Grail
Those girls ahead of you in the line at Pinkberry with the envy-inducing, buttery locks spilling down their backs that beckon you with their every wave? Instead of hating on them for being so perfect and for taking all day in line, you should be asking them if they'll take a selfie with you. What, you ask? Why would I do that? Here's why; believe it or not, they're like the Olympic Gold Medalists of hair, the celebrities of the salon world. Perfect blondes are the unicorns to our bland, colorless world.
Achieving that pinned-a-billion-times, "I want this for my wedding/prom/senior pics" shade of blonde that every box-dyed-a-million-times client requests is TOUGH! Don't let Kim Kardashian and her stylist fool you! Getting to that perfect shade of blonde is not something that happens in one, two, or even three visits. Dreamy, Pinterest-worthy blonde is a journey that takes time, effort, commitment, practice, and money. It is not something one just does on a whim or casually, say, like a dirt run that ends in beer drinking with your friends. "Hey, ever do a dirt run?" "Nope. You?" "Nah. Wanna do one?" "Sure." Neither of you running again for a year but you at least have bragging rights. Nope. Getting perfect blonde hair is not something you just do.
Blonde hair, if done right, is also not something you just quit after the first or second try. This journey is also not one for the easily disappointed, the quitters, the weak of heart ("Why doesn't my hair look like this picture?" "Um, well, you box-dyed your hair purple, then tried to make it blonde yourself, then when it turned green you colored it an emerald green instead, and now it's fried." "Wahhhh! I'm giving you a shitty review on Yelp!"). It is a journey taken by the strong, the dedicated, the connoisseurs, who truly, truly love blonde hair. I mean, the financial commitment alone tells the world how much a blonde loves their hair; spending the equivalent of a private pre-school annual tuition to achieve that perfection? Non-blondes are like, "I can think of so many other things to spend my money on." And, so can our blonde goddesses; professional shampoo and conditioner for their crowns of gold and platinum. After all, the freedom of just grabbing any old shampoo and conditioner no longer exists; one product misstep can undo hundreds of dollars of blonding effort! Only rich, nourishing products specifically formulated to strengthen, nourish, and make shiny all those delicate blonde strands are on the menu.
So, the next time you see a girl with pin-perfect blonde hair, admire her discipline, give props to her sacrifices, and when she gives you that side-eye as she casually tosses that spun gold over her shoulder know that she's just checking to see if you're looking. Tell her how amazing her blonde is and you'll make and have a friend for life. #blondeshavemoreeverything